{"id":31884,"date":"2020-01-19T14:00:00","date_gmt":"2020-01-19T19:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/?p=31884"},"modified":"2020-01-19T14:58:21","modified_gmt":"2020-01-19T19:58:21","slug":"1-out-of-5-would-recommend-cats-2019","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/1-out-of-5-would-recommend-cats-2019\/","title":{"rendered":"1 out of 5 – Would Recommend: Cats (2019)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

“I know it’s a little late for you, but we’re going to see Cats<\/em> at 10:30. Would you want to join us?”

That was the question posed to me while waiting in line to see Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker<\/em> with my friends (the same friends with whom I met Tommy Wiseau <\/a>and who showed me Ryan’s Babe<\/em><\/a> for the first time) on December 14, 2019. It lead to an enjoyable night out, but I have not known true peace since the credits rolled on that movie.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"
Taylor Swift, rendered like this as part of Universal Picture’s attempt to make you a furry.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

What\u2019s The Plot?<\/strong><\/p>\n

A kitten named Victoria is abandoned by her owners in a London alleyway and quickly taken in by a semi-magical tribe (a mix of strays and indoor\/outdoor cats) known as The Jellicles. As she meets their members and learns their ways, she finds that tonight is the night of the Jellicle Ball – a massive gathering with singing and dancing wherein their leader, Old Deuteronomy, selects a worthy cat to ascend to the Heaviside Layer and be granted a new life.\u00a0

But the Jellicles needs to be on the lookout – cat super-criminal Macavity and his henchcats are looking to make him the Jellicle Choice and will go to great lengths to do so…
<\/span><\/div>\n\n\n\n
\"\"
Rebel Wilson’s character wears this outfit under top layer of skin, which unzips to reveal it. By the time it happens, you’ve accepted the insanity.<\/figcaption><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Who Made This Beautiful Garbage?<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Academy Award winning director of The King’s Speech<\/em>, Les Miserables<\/em>, & The Danish Girl,<\/em><\/span> based on the incredibly long-running and award winning musical of the same name which was written by one of the most successful songwriters in musical theater based on a book of poems by T.S. Elliot. The film version stars a mix of pop-stars (Taylor Swift, Jennifer Hudson, and Jason DeRulo), popular comedians with a foot in film and musical theater worlds (Rebel Wilson and James Corden), and well-respected actors (Sir Ian McKellan, Dame Judi Dench, Ray Winstone, and Idris Elba). <\/div>\n
 <\/div>\n
And despite having all of those points in its favor, things that would surely appear as a surefire success in an algorithmic analysis<\/a>, it sucks so bad that it’s amazingly fun.<\/strong><\/div>\n\n\n\n
\"\"
Judi Dench cat is judging you.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Five Reasons to See It<\/strong><\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Taylor Swift and Andrew Lloyd Webber co-wrote an original song for the flick. It’s a lyrical counterpoint to the musical best known song “Memory<\/a>” entitled “Beautiful Ghosts<\/a>“, in which Victoria sings about how she’d love<\/em> <\/strong>to have the lost glory days that Grizabella laments. It’s pretty good and helps craft some kind of through-line for the characters (lacked by the stage version).
    <\/span><\/li>\n
  2. Every animal character that appears, including cockroaches trained to dance by Rebel Wilson’s Jennyanydots, have the same weirdly human faces as the cats. This makes Jennyanydots’ casual eating<\/em> of the cockroaches even freakier looking.<\/li>\n
  3. The scale of the cats to their surroundings varies wildly from shot to shot. It’s all part of the flick’s foul attempts to drive you mad.<\/li>\n
  4. Macavity (Idris Elba)<\/span> has, per Bombalurina’s (one-scene-wonder Taylor Swift) ode to him, broken “every human law”. How a cat has evaded taxes and targeted cultural sites during war I don’t know, but he found a way<\/strong>.<\/li>\n
  5. Judi Dench’s Old Deuteronomy is occasionally called “Old Doot”. The highly respected leader of the cats, who decides who gets to die and be reincarnated, is called “Doot”.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n
    \"\"
    Pictured: The greatest criminal in history, apparently.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    Recommendation<\/strong><\/p>\n

    This film is like a train wreck – you don’t want to keep looking, but you simply cannot<\/strong> look away. They tried really hard to take a plotless musical about some cats competing for the chance to die into a movie with some sort of plot, and they succeed to an extent, but the photo-realistic CGI cat people and the holdovers from the stage version ultimately render it one long acid trip you can safely watch with grandma.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    “I know it’s a little late for you, but we’re going to see Cats at 10:30. Would you want to join us?”That was the question posed to me while waiting in line to see Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker with my friends (the same friends with whom I met Tommy Wiseau and who showed…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":266,"featured_media":31889,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[2458,2248,3777,3780,3779],"yoast_head":"\n1 out of 5 - Would Recommend: Cats (2019) - Back to the Past Collectibles<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/1-out-of-5-would-recommend-cats-2019\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"1 out of 5 - Would Recommend: Cats (2019) - Back to the Past Collectibles\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/1-out-of-5-would-recommend-cats-2019\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Back to the Past Collectibles\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/b2pcollect\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2020-01-19T19:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-01-19T19:58:21+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/fearured-e1579463121687.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"300\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"150\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Chris Walker\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Chris Walker\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/1-out-of-5-would-recommend-cats-2019\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/1-out-of-5-would-recommend-cats-2019\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Chris Walker\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/#\/schema\/person\/aa7ba5b8afb141e48a0c3e77c1cacce6\"},\"headline\":\"1 out of 5 – Would Recommend: Cats (2019)\",\"datePublished\":\"2020-01-19T19:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2020-01-19T19:58:21+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/1-out-of-5-would-recommend-cats-2019\/\"},\"wordCount\":685,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/1-out-of-5-would-recommend-cats-2019\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/01\/fearured-e1579463121687.jpg\",\"keywords\":[\"1 out of 5\",\"1 Out of 5 Would Recommend\",\"Musical\",\"Poor Life Choices Made By Chris\",\"Taylor Swift\"],\"articleSection\":[\"TV & Movies\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/1-out-of-5-would-recommend-cats-2019\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/1-out-of-5-would-recommend-cats-2019\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/gobacktothepast.com\/1-out-of-5-would-recommend-cats-2019\/\",\"name\":\"1 out of 5 - 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