Welcome back to 1 out of 5 – Would Recommend, where we genuinely thought that Sharknado 2: The Second One would be the low point of Vivica A. Fox’s career. Today, we’re being proven wrong by 2015’s Cool Cat Saves The Kids.
What’s The Plot?
A six foot tall half-human half-cat elementary schooler named Cool Cat fights bullying, promotes gun safety, and is generally an unsubtle PSA for a solid seventy-eight minutes.
Who Made This Beautiful Garbage?
The man himself. And Derek Savage too.
Derek Savage, a Hollywood based novelist and screenwriter. He created the character of Cool Cat, whom he has written at least six picture books about, and also written the novels Devil President and Midnight Stripper. He’s better at filmmaking than a James Nguyen, possibly even Tommy Wiseau-good (this column grades on a curve), and his heart is in the right place.
Also, Cool Cat is credited as an associate producer, which is odd. Where can I sell my movie memorabilia collection?
Five Reasons to See It
- Literally every character approaches every task – from getting into the car to brushing their teeth to waking up in the morning – with a level of gusto usually reserved for cocaine addicts.
- Mama Cat is played by the same costume as Cool Cat. She also appears to have married a man whose last name happens to be “Cat”. Unless Daddy Derek took her last name.
Vivica, you were in Kill Bill! You’re better than this. Erik…keep hustling, fam.
- In-Universe, Vivica A. Fox is apparently close friends with Mama Cat and chills out day drinking with Erik Estrada while babysitting neighborhood kids. Which….OK, that’s not a bad life actually.
- There’s a scene where Cool Cat and his dad sing a song about how awesome he is, and this is apparently an excuse for Derek Savage to show off his sweet guitar moves on his autographed Van Halen guitar.
- “That darn Viviva A. Fox and Erik Estrada messed it up!” – That’s a rare sentence, to be sure.
Recommendation
Cool Cat Saves The Kids is to children’s films as The Room is to romantic melodrama, which is really the only reason to watch it. It’s approved by the Grand Rapids, MI-based Dove Foundation as family friendly, proving that they’re OK with a human male having sexual relations with an anthropomorphic cat as long its in the bounds of marriage.
Ben Daka provides the pull quote on the box. He’s also credited lower than the mascot costume.
NEXT WEEK: It is ungodly hot as I write this, so I’m picking 2009’s SyFy original film Ice Twisters out of my “to be watched” file.
